Manic Musings: 2005

Monday, Dec 26

"So close, yet so far..."

 - Disgruntled utterings

Tuesday, Nov 8

"la la la la la la la la la la la..."

 - Kylie Minogue, "Can't Get You Out of My Head"

Friday, Oct 28

"I don't want somebody to love me. Just give me sex whenever I want it..."

 - Rufus Wainwright, "Instant Pleasure"

Tuesday, Oct 4

"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm."

 - Winston Churchill

Wednesday, Sept 21

"To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee..."

 - Herman Melville, "Moby Dick"

Wednesday, Sept 7

"...and I'll be yours till the sun comes up..."

 - April Wine, "Oowatanite"

Monday, Aug 22

"Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay

To mould me man? Did I solicit thee

From darkness to promote me?"

 - John Milton, "Paradise Lost"

Saturday, June 25

    Hee hee hee...

Damn those paparazzi...

Saturday, June 18

    My days have become one big endless blur. It's like I'm sleepwalking, or watching someone else live my life.

    I realize that I have done things and I have been places, but were you to ask me what I've done, where I've been, and when I've done them, the only thing that would come out of my mouth would be an incomprehensible verbal diarrhea that only vaguely resembles English.

    The things I have been doing are not the things I should be doing. For example, I know I should be writing my proposal. I should have been doing that three months ago. I should have been doing that a week ago. I should be doing that right here and now. But I'm not. I know I should be doing it. In fact I will go so far to say I need to be doing it. My immediate future depends solely on this deceptively simple ten page document. But I'm not doing it. It's not because I'm lazy (well, not just because I'm lazy), but it seems that whenever I sit down and start writing my mind goes blank. Everything I know I wanted to say vanishes like so much dust in the wind. I can't organize my thoughts. My sentences are absolute rubbish. If I were on my committee I'd be questioning my right to even be in graduate school. There must have been some clerical error that granted me admission. I sat here this morning for a good hour and a half trying to will my proposal into existence, but thus far my muse has abandoned me. I am now intimately familiar with "graduate depression".

    I'm reasonably certain all this is related to my sleep, or lack thereof. It's not that I'm not sleeping either. I am sleeping. I'm sleeping a good 10 hours or more every day. However, it doesn't feel like I've been sleeping. In fact, it feels like I've been pulling all-nighters every day for the last month. I know I go to sleep because there's vast blocks of time I can't account for and when I regain consciousness I'm in my bed, but when I get up every morning I'm mentally and physically exhausted. It's like I never slept at all.

    If there exists a seventh level of hell I'm fairly confident that this is what it feels like.

"You know what life is? Joy and sorrow hand in hand."

- Unknown

Monday, June 6

"Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in."

- Narrator, "Grey's Anatomy"

Wednesday, May 11

"A man who looks a part has the soul of that part."

- Guy de Maupassant

Wednesday, May 4

"Colors, like features, follow the changes of emotions."

- Pablo Picasso

Tuesday, May 3

"We can go where we want to, the night is young and so am I..."

- Men Without Hats, "Safety Dance"

Monday, May 2

"Even the greatest failures, the most intractable mistakes, sure beat the hell out of not trying."

- Narrator, "Grey's Anatomy"

Friday, Apr 29

"Dreams aren't what they used to be..."

- The Killers, "Smile Like You Mean It"

Thursday, Mar 31

"It's evening, you're tired, you sleepwalk, a robot out on the street. Are you crazy to want this, even for a while?"

- Matthew Good, "Strange Days"

Sunday, Mar 27

    It's not a fire truck, but I suppose it'll do in a pinch.

"Let us sing of the days that are gone..."

- George Washington Johnson, "When You and I Were Young, Maggie"

Wednesday, Mar 23

    Suck. Rhymes with fire truck.

"Without haste, but without rest."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sunday, Mar 13

    Playing with light and portraiture again.

"This sick strange darkness comes creeping in so haunting every time..."

- Blink 182, "I Miss You"

Saturday, Mar 5

    Hello carcinogens. Goodbye health.

"In the shape of things to come, too much poison come undone..."

- Placebo, "Every You Every Me"

Friday, Mar 4

    Hello stress. Goodbye sleep.

    On the upside maybe I could sell these photomicrographs as "abstract art".

"All alone in space and time there's nothing here but what here's mine."

- Placebo, "Every You Every Me"

Sunday, Feb 20

"...favorite night is Saturday night, 'cause me can watch hockey fights..."

- Arrogant Worms, "Me Like Hockey"

Friday, Feb 18

    I'm still stressed, sleep deprived, and whatever else you would care to add. But things are looking up. They are looking up indeed. I needed today.

    We're not in the clear yet, but I think I can take it for a little longer now.

"Is it wrong to be surrounded by people but feel totally alone?"

- Colin

Wednesday, Feb 16

    Is it just me or does this shot look like a raging fire? Or maybe I've just been sleep deprived, playing with uranium, and exposed to various other carcinogens for far too long.

"Burn baby burn!"

- The Tramps, "Disco Inferno"

Sunday, Feb 6

    STRESS.

    I reiterate, STRESS.

    There's just far too much happening in the next few weeks. There needs to be more days. Someone should introduce a new calendar. Instead of going Feb 7, 8, etc. etc. there should instead be Feb 7, Feb 7.5, Feb 7.75, Feb 7.8 and dates can be inserted as needed.

    Anyways, I know that this shot is ugly. I know the highlights are blown. I know that the focus is a little off. But I also know that it only took me 5 seconds to shoot it (just look at that little hand go). That's about all I can afford to spare at the moment. If you don't like it, take a better picture, send it to me and I'll put it up.

"By labour we can find food and water, but all of our labour will not find for us another hour."

- Kenneth Patton

Wednesday, Feb 2

- Loosing My Marbles

Monday, Jan 24

"The more you see the less you know..."

- U2, "City of Blinding Lights"

Sunday, Jan 23

"And in the night we'll wish this never ends..."

- Blink 182, "I Miss You"

Tuesday, Jan 18

    I thought I'd update before the update police gets back into town and hassles me. The problem with my great plan is I have no new pictures. Too cold to take any outside, too busy to come up with something inside. So you'll just have to settle for this one of the update police himself et al.

"Stay true to your friends 'cause they'll save you in the end..."

- Sam Roberts, "Hard Road"

Friday, Jan 7

"Skeletor wishes you all a happy new year."